July 19

Park in Toronto

Today I gave Joan her job back. She was pleased with the job I did covering for her and I was pleased to be finished. Summer weather reappeared yesterday afternoon, and I was able to enjoy lunch in the park today w/G.

I picked up a new book for a summer read, "Summer at Tiffany". It takes place in the 1940's in New York and seems like a fun memoir.

Ironically, I received a call yesterday from another former employer for an offer to come back and cover my old position during a maternity leave. Can't do it, it will keep me from moving forward. Glad to have a little break again and hopeful to find new and improved opportunities in the near future.

Now a few words to some friends around the globe: (my little messags in a bottle)

Hi Martina, hope you enjoy your visit to Brazil!

Hi Anthony in Germany, great to be in touch again, keep writing!

Hi Simone & Ocean in New Zealand, miss you, hope to hear from you soon!

Hi Cathy in the OC, rock on with your own bad self!

Hi Adam, and David B. in the midwest, how's summer treating you?

Hi Sister C in So Cal., have you written any new beautiful poems lately?

Hi Cecily, how's life in Hong Kong?

Quote

"Every day look at a beautiful picture,

read a beautiful poem,

listen to some beautiful music,

and if possible, say some reasonable thing."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

monday monday

This is my last week filling in at my former job. Then it's back to my career-change re-evaluation break. (I keep changing the title) I really hope I can find various sources of work and income. Variety is appealing.
I'm even looking to find a little gig that is internet based (perhaps some sort of website content writing...or who knows) in order to have a portable job that can be done from anywhere in the world. G has worked that way for years.

Newsflash: Two coyotes were spotted in Golden Gate Park this past weekend!

Sicko

Today was a typical San Francisco summer day. We bundled up and decided to head out to a matinee. We saw Michael Moore's latest, "Sicko" at a bargain matinee of $8.50 per person. Worth every cent. We thought it was very well done. He addressed health care in America, or lack thereof. I had a big lump in my throat at various parts in the film. The stories of regular American folks were heartbreaking. There were serious medical situations that didn't receive the care necessary at the time, just plain inexcusable. This system is terribly flawed. Personally I have some 'emergency' coverage at this time that I can't really afford to use due to high deductibles and now I'm not certain I would be provided coverage if necessary. What a sad state for a lot of us, and scary!

He did show what was right with health care in other countries. People he interviewed weren't the least bit concerned about 1) being covered (because they have universal health care), 2) weren't the least bit concerned about paying (because they never or very minimally had to).

I think I'd seriously like to live abroad for a time. Not just because of that mind you, George and I have always wanted to travel as much as we can. But I think it relieves a fair amount of worries in countries where you know that your health care is available for you (free), and education is provided for as well. Sheesh. I think this country runs ass-backwards sometimes. We don't care for our people, we make college unaffordable (like I could never afford to go back now!), we prescribe drugs for every newly invented condition (hailing the almighty dollar), enough said. Well, that's why I vote even though it feels like it doesn't make a difference, someday it will. That's why I see films that are bold enough to address important and relevant issues. I'm tired of being lied to by our government, and it just makes you think. It doesn't take many people to create such large-scale problems (the health care decline began during Nixon's administration), but it will certainly take more than a few to repair these broken systems. Lord, help us.

Anyway... I recommend watching "Sicko". It's another well-done documentary. Unless you do not like Michael Moore's work of course. I happen to have respect for him. Who else is doing anything to get these stories heard on a grand scale?

Book Report

I first read “Let Your Life Speak, Listening for the Voice of Vocation” by Parker Palmer, about three years ago. Palmer is a writer, teacher and activist. I’m re-reading it now to glean insight about finding an authentic career direction.

Parker Palmer began to question his vocation in his 30’s. At 40 now, I am at a crossroads having recently quit my full-time job. Soul-draining jobs have taken their toll on me. Though I’ve worked for some great companies over the years, I’ve learned that I need more than a regular 8-5 job in the same position with little stimulation. So I call this my time of a self-imposed sabbatical.

He says vocation comes from listening to our own life. “…the word vocation itself is rooted in the Latin for voice.”
“We listen for guidance everywhere except from within.” True for me! It’s hard to get quiet and still enough to hear your own truth. It’s also a challenge to be patient. I will distract myself by reading anything from books to blogs, yet that is other people’s experience and wisdom. Maybe I will try and put the books down for a while. Try to get in touch with guidance through prayer, meditation, and writing.

“If we can learn to read our own responses to our own experience-a text we are writing unconsciously every day we spend on earth-we will receive the guidance we need to live more authentic lives.” He also notes, “My life is not only about my strengths and virtues; it is also about my liabilities and my limits, my trespasses and my shadow.”
Andrea, pay attention! Awaken to your responses and to all your senses, awaken to new discoveries and use it all in your own writing.

“Vocation does not come from a voice ‘out there’ calling me to become something I am not. It comes from a voice ‘in here’ calling me to be the person I was born to be, to fulfill the original selfhood given me at birth by God.”

He speaks of coming to terms with our own limitations and fears. When doors close, pay attention to that for guidance as well. In his 40’s, Palmer experienced clinical depression. He shares his faithful reflection of what happened once he passed through the valley of depression. “At the end of that decent into darkness and isolation, I found myself reengaged with community, better able to offer leadership to the causes I care about.”

This time around, it is a little more insightful and I’m encouraged to seek my answers within, where they lay dormant. I do believe they are there and it’s time to stop looking outside, everywhere else.

The journey often requires some paths through darkness. As long as I keep moving forward, taking the next best step at the moment, I will undoubtedly arrive at a now elusive, somewhere authentic.

Wednesday Musings

This afternoon we took a walk and it was BEAUTIFUL out. We saw lots of butterflies, squirrels, birds and ducks. In fact, I got shat on by something! It has been said to be good luck in some places.

This evening we rented "Why We Fight". Interesting documentary. Nothing we didn't already know but I did learn more about the 'business of war'. I learned the term 'Military-Industrial-Complex' (MIC) first spoken by Eisenhower. Defense is big business. Sadly, I believe the Empire America is to suffer the same fate of prior empires. YET, that doesn't mean it's time to get complacent and negative.

We can decide:
who and what we support
where we choose to spend our money
where we travel
to do good deeds and help others
to volunteer or serve in our local communities
to pick up a piece of trash
to drive less (if possible)
to think deeply and form our own conclusions
to challenge status quo
to re-evaluate our own beliefs and be sure if they still hold true

for a start! Each day is new and we have the priviledge to choose how we spend it. There is a good quote that says something like... "life is meant to be spent, not saved." So spend the day as wisely or whimsically as you want. I hope to do a little of both, mindfully.

reminder for the mind

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

Tuesday

Overcast & cool, summer in SF. Today is the All-Star Game.
I don't feel like going to work even though I only have seven days left there. I'm burned out and ready to get back on my self-imposed retirement break.

Nevertheless, I do have to get dressed and have some cereal. More later.
(my feet)



"Part of being an artist is being brave, and that means creating the kind of life you want for yourself." -Jan D'Esopo

Treats

Yesterday George and I saw a classic Charlie Chaplin film, "City Lights" at the Castro theater. It was so sweet, poetic and funny. I loved it. I can see why many comedians were influenced by him.

Today at church I found out that my friend Jen was accepted in Medical School and is leaving soon to be a med student in So Cal. Congratulation Jennifer, continue to follow your heart.

Later I had the pleasure of catching up with a good friend! Thanks for calling Cathy!! You still crack me up. It was great to share about our common issues! Have fun camping. Definitely talk to you soon. xoxo

my new poem

(Fragrant Cloud - 1st prize winner)

Ok, so I decided not to wait.
Here is my brand new creating as of this morning!

7/4/07

Sunrays reveal the path

And I follow

Each step toward authenticity

My seasons of mere existence

Are pardoned in the warm breeze

Sweeping away the dross

No longer can I hide behind the shadows of, “I don’t know”

The tree branches sway

Naturally

And my choices become more authentic

Naturally

I feel the sun warming my back

And my heart feels aglow

With hope

There is poetry in this manicured garden

The sun casts images on the still pond like

An Impressionist painting

The layers of the red pagoda speak to me

Of five imaginary lives

A faint wind chime rings sacred

Awakening truth and possibility

I go forward into the full array of poetry

That is each new day

Of

My

Life.

Back on Independence Day

An unexpected blog break.
The time since my last post has included:
Red paper lanterns in China Town
Fortune cookies
A walk to Ocean Beach
A neighborhood clean up where we helped paint over graffiti on poles and trash cans
A letter written to a special pen-pal
Prize winning roses
Breakfast at Howard's
Fireworks that sound like bombs after midnight


Happy Independence Day - however you choose to identify with it.
I choose to hope that competent people will once again run this country,
to claim my independence and pursue authentic 'life-giving' work, and remember my dependence on God who I trust.
And mostly I'm happy to spend the entire day with my love, George.

p.s. I wrote a new poem this morning in the Japanese Tea Garden - may post it later.

p.s.s. - I'd like to give a little shout out to some special friends in Minnesota, Happy 4th of July to David & Marilyn Bengtson, hope we get to see you this year.

blue sky and sun

Today the weather was the opposite of yesterday, so we were outdoors most of the day. We stopped by the Alice Summerthing concert, walked by the boat pond, to Ocean Beach and back through the park. It was gorgeous out. We are going to try and watch the movie Letters From Iwo Jima tonight before it gets late.

June 14 blog-iversary

June 14 marks one year of this blog.
(Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? .... To see time fly! i know, dinosaur)
I really enjoy this format of photos and writing.
One year ago I was still at DDB and a month from leaving for a new job!
Now I have already quit that new job!

What's next?

Well, life is short and I plan to live more 'on purpose' and eliminate anything soul-draining.
More writing - especially with the online course I'm taking w/Sheila Bender right now.
More reading (and hopefully a book group w/Mira & Karena)
Fresh air in the park and naps in the sun
Watch more adventures of the Starship Enterprise
Hopefully some temp work at interesting companies
Hopefully a trip to Lake Tahoe w/George
Spontaneity
Serendipity
Ultimately more travels abroad with George
Ultimately new and improved sources of livelihood

Quote

HAPPINESS is when
what you think,
what you say,
and what you do
are in HARMONY.

-Mohandas Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian Statesman

not a manic Monday

Clear blue skies and sunshine, what a great day to not have to work. It was breezy but warm in the sun.

I read a couple chapters of Anne Lamott's "Grace Eventually". Her essays are full of honesty and humor which I really enjoy. She is one of the few author's I read that makes me laugh out loud.
My new online writing class w/Sheila Bender begins today, I plan to get busy with her writing exercises and hopefully write some interesting pieces.

Yesterday at church, the message was about "through the chaos". The scripture that spoke to me was this passage in Mark 4, v. 39-40:
"He woke up and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, 'Peace! Be Still!' Then the wind ceased, and there was a dead calm. Jesus said to them, 'Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?'"
Honestly, after all these years, this question is still relevant as ever. This sheep is a late bloomer.

After church, I went to http://www.secretgardenteahouse.net/
with some friends from church. It was my first time at a tea house, I enjoyed it. We had interesting conversations and delicious tea with little sandwiches and pastries. (I learned that a crumpet is basically an English muffin) There is a photo below from my cell phone.

p.s. Sending prayers for a successful surgery and recovery to my dear friend Shauna.

Multimedia message

A spot of tea

Multimedia message

June afternoon

Quote

"For everything you have missed,
you have gained something else."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Japanese Tea Garden

This morning was the first clear sky we've had in awhile! Fortunately it just happened to be on a day when the Tea Garden is free from 9-10am. So George and I got coffee, and walked around the Tea Garden for a little while. It's such a beautifully maintained place. On our strolls, we almost always find completely formed spider webs in various bushes or trees.

I also enjoyed a leisurely appointment at the hair salon today. A nice color fix and cut. However, my lady-of-luxury days go on temporary hiatus tomorrow.

I leave you with this little ditty I read tonight in Julia Cameron's Finding Water (chapter 4):
"So many things are out of our control, but making art is in our control. There is always a small and doable creative something we can do if we are willing to move ahead without a guarantee. We may not be able to work at our art on the level that we wish we could, but we can always do something."

Star Trek Wisdom #1

To live long and prosper.(I read that Leonard Nimoy used that from a Jewish prayer. ) I prefer to use live well and prosper for this topic though. Isn't that a worthy goal? It sounds simple but I think we each need to define for ourselves what exactly living well and prospering is.

For me, to live well is a balanced life, uncluttered with room to learn, create, grow, and blossom.

I believe that when we are living well and able to use our gifts and talents in work and life, we will naturally prosper. It's during this time that I hope to discover my authenticity in work. Interestingly enough, the person I really want to be, often shows up in my writing. Writing is a natural and necessary activity for me. I think it's time to find more ways to pursue it.

May we dig into our potential and pursue authentic activities.
Let our talents and creations spill out and touch others.

a little work interruption

Today my former job called to see if I was available and interested in working for them to cover the Credit Manager's vacation. It requires some training now and during the three weeks she is out. I thought, "Why not?" I'm familiar with everything and everyone and it's some 'scrilla'. They are okay with a flexible schedule hours-wise, so that's good because I don't want to work 8-hour days. It's the first temp offer for work I've gotten and I can make more this way too.

It will only temporarily 'bogart my mellow' of not working. I signed up for a 10-week online writing class with Sheila Bender that starts next Monday to compensate and keep me happy.

Today I went to the gym at 11:45 till about 1:00. I like the luxury of working out at different times, mixing it up. The sun came out this afternoon and we took a little walk in the park. After, we had a late lunch at L'Avenida. I had my usual yummy vegetarian burrito on a wheat tortilla and we shared a Fat Tire beer, mmmm.

I have two days of freedom, then it's back to work for awhile, but on my terms and there is an end in sight this time. Then hopefully we still take our Tahoe trip end of July/beg. of August.

Hope

Romans 5 (New King James Version)

Faith Triumphs in Trouble

1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have^[a] peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Actively waiting

Being active helps a lot in this process. For example, going to work out in the morning is a good start. Having some people to call, or places to go, or even errands to run keeps you moving. I have three people working for me now, if you will. I like that they are looking for interesting jobs for me. It's just a matter of getting something lined up. I use the term "actively waiting" in times like these. Not just job-related, but whenever you are waiting for something to materialize in your life. It requires waiting but you can certainly do your part too.

I'm reading some good stories in Po Bronson's book "What should I do with my life?". There are some interesting stories. I found this insight on page 322. This is Po speaking, "In the nine hundred plus stories I heard in my research, almost nobody was struck with an epiphany. It was one of my biggest surprises. Most people had a slim notion or a slight urge that they slowly nurtured until it grew into a faint hope which barely stayed alive for years until it could mature into a vision. ... Don't doubt your desire because it comes to you as a whisper; don't think, "If it were really important to me, I'd feel clearer about this, less conflicted." My research didn't show that to be true. The things we really want to do are usually the ones that scare us the most."

So it's Friday. It doesn't carry the weight right now since every day has been my weekend this week!

(haiku on the spot):
soft petals sitting
delight in the sweet perfume
quietly lovely

Week One

Sweet Pea

It is one whole week of being unemployed. It feels like the week is moving fast since the Monday holiday. I remember when holiday/short weeks often felt longer in workplace. I can't think of anything profound or interesting to share today. However, Felicia in New York wrote an interesting post today, so I'll link you there:
http://www.feliciasullivan.com/

The Dreamer

This is a new temporary sculpture placed in GG Park, near the Rose Garden.

Stopping to Smell the Roses

The roses are blooming. They are so beautiful. Yesterday was sunny and we took advantage of it. G and I took a nice morning walk in the Botanical Garden, Rose Garden, and Stow Lake.

Yesterday George noticed a bee lying in a light yellow rose! It was dead and we thought what a wonderful place to lay yourself to rest. On a beautiful, soft, sweet rose petal. I tried to find it today, no luck. I suppose it was a unique thing to experience rather than capture.

This-not-working-gig is nice! I went to the gym in the morning, had cereal & coffee with George. I ran some errands this afternoon, and when I stopped at Andronico's Market for a minute, I saw Diane (who does the Clorox Pine-Sol commericals, from my DDB job). She lives somewhere in this neighborhood too.

So tonight it's boboli, salad, wine, and some fun Twilight Zone episodes.

Chocolate & Zucchini

Yesterday I went to a book signing for Clotilde's cookbook "Chocolate & Zucchini" at the Ferry Building. I browsed the Farmer's Market a bit which was busy and crowded. Then headed into Book Passage which was also crowded, being a fairly small store. Clotilde spoke about how she got interested in food and cooking in her 20's (and she's only 27 now I think). She was a software engineer and moved to the Bay Area for two years for an internship during the Dot Com boom. She discovered her interest in food - shopping, meal planning, cooking ... here. Then she moved back to Paris and pursued her interest. She started a food blog - writing about food, sharing stories, recipes & photos. chocolateandzucchini.com/

Approximately three years later, lo and behold, she has her first published cookbook which she wrote and took all the photos. When they ran out of copies of her book she signed a bookplate. I congratulated her on her successful career change. She was very kind and appreciative. She mentioned her next project, writing a guide book for Paris about food markets and restaurants due out at this time next year.

Stories like these always encourage me. When you find your passions you can absolutely head in that direction even if you don't know what you are doing at that early stage. My impression is the you are happier with your life because you are doing something you care about, enjoy, and most likely have a talent for. I imagine you have different challenges but are more likely to press through, overcome, and succeed.

Free at Last, Free at Last ...

(picture from Viansa winery)

I thank God I'm free at last ...

Today is the first day of the rest of your life -

My first day of freedom
Woke up too early but that's okay
We had breakfast at Art's, what a treat - no crowd
Sara who works there, commented that I looked happy
I didn't realize it shows?! Apparently quitting your job can do wonders to your countenance

The sun is beginning to emerge
I have errands to run today, mostly downtown
time to get moving on the adventure of today.
Carpe Diem!!

Trekkie at 40

Who knew I'd become a Star Trek fan at this age! Seriously, I recently caught some original episodes on the CW and never realized what a clever, creative and intelligent show it was! Cecil the Borg has been kind enough to fill me in on a lot of background info/stories.

I love Spock's 'logic', Kirk is a great Captain, Scottie, Dr. McCoy, Uhura, & Chekov (who made an appearance on Gidget as Gunner!). It's really cool. I've discovered a whole new interest in Sci Fi. This could prove to inspire new and different writing.

Crossing a bridge

Tomorrow is my LAST day at the job. I'm definitely READY but it doesn't feel REAL yet. Then I cross the bridge into freedom and uncertainty. A time of exploring all sorts of options. Conveniently we are having some nice weather I plan to take advantage of! I'm entertaining the idea of creating a few different sources of income, from part-time work to temping to personal training! Who knows. I just like the idea of flexibility, variety, and unconventional hours. It doesn't feel that scary, it feels right. What would you try if you quit your job?

Today at Farmer's Market I got some Sweet Pea bouquets.
Andrea - out.

daring adventure!

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all. --Helen Keller

Chief Dan George

“The beauty of the trees, the softness of the air, the fragrance of the grass – they speak to me.
The summit of the mountain, the thunder of the sky, the rhythm of the sea – speaks to me.
The faintness of the stars, the freshness of the morning, the dewdrop on the flower - speaks to me.
The strength of the fire, the taste of salmon, the trail of the sun, and the life that never goes away – they speak to me. And my heart soars.”

- Chief Dan George, Earthprayers (ed.) E. Roberts & E. Amidon

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Until one is committed,
there is hesitancy,
the chance to draw back,
always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all acts of initiative
there is one elementary truth,
the ignorance of which kills
countless ideas and endless plans:
That the moment one definitely commits oneself,
then providence moves, too.

All sorts of things occur to help one
that would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
raising in one’s favor all manner of
unforeseen incidents and meetings and
material assistance which no man
could have dreamed would come his way.

Whatever you can do or
dream you can, begin it!
Boldness has genius, power,
and magic in it.

- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

TGIF

This is my last Friday here, thank goodness. Our receptionist conveniently called in sick today. According to my changed responsibilities that means I am the main phone back up ALL day when she's out. I refused to be at the front desk on phones all day. Three of us will split up coverage. It sucks only a tiny bit less now.

Now I need to shake off this bad mood.

Our District Supervisor has an art opening tonight at City Hall in connection with Somarts who curates it. George and I are planning to check out a little art & politics this evening.

Live long and prosper.

4 more days

It's starting to feel a little closer to the end but 4 days still feels like 4 months. It's coming though. I have 3 agencies to finish signing up with to temp and a meeting with a career specialist. The funny thing is that I fear finding work too soon! I want to keep a flexible schedule for a couple months and temp here and there for exposure and scrilla, but nothing long-term or permanent... yet.

This is what I know for sure:
1. This is absolutely the right decision and timing.
2. I want to go to the Japanese Tea Garden Friday at 9am.
3. I will write more and work on a piece for submission.
4. I want to go to the gym at different times of day - not only at 6pm.
5. Possibilities are endless
6. This truly is the beginning of my authentic path.
(You say tomato..... it's still funny)

You say tomato....

I was just reminded of something that was funny in Portland. Shauna & I were at Powells and she found this magnet that sais "You say tomato, I say F___ You" and we were laughing so hard, nearly in tears. You had to be there but it was a riot. It still makes me giggle.

So the countdown in six days (feels like six months) when you are folding and mailing fliers all day. But enough of that nonsense...
I've recently become aware of jumping-the-gun. I notice this in people at work how they jump to conclusions without reading or checking something out before they come to me flying off the handle or thinking something wasn't done or is incorrect. Most times it was done or I did whatever it was right and they jumped-the-gun. I suppose this could be mirroring something I am guilty of too, and I want to be conscious that I don't react that way unnecessarily, because frankly it's unbecoming. I thought that was an interesting thing to notice.

calling

Below is a daily devotional from Pastor Jon Courson.

MAY 11
… Called to be an apostle …
Romans 1:1

To this day, the Spirit continues to appoint apostles — missionaries who are ‘sent out’ with the message of the Gospel. ‘What a great calling that is,’ you say. But you know what? A call to be a drywaller, a science teacher, or a repairman is just as holy and just as important if you’re doing what God has opened up for you, and you’re doing it for Him. Whether you’re a baker, banker, mechanic, or cook yours is an important calling because of the need for brothers and sisters to serve in all kinds of arenas and locations.

Please don't think you’re missing it if you’re not a missionary. If the Lord wants you selling insurance or pouring cement, be at peace about it, saying, ‘Lord, if this is what You have for me, I’ll do it for Your glory. I’ll be salt and light, and I’ll do it as unto You.’

Herein is a problem, folks: There’s a tendency for us to think everyone should have our calling. If I’m called to be a missionary — everyone should be a missionary; if I’m called to be a teacher — everyone should be a teacher. Not true. That’s not the way it works in the Body of Christ. The Lord calls each of us uniquely, individually, personally.

How can you know what your calling is? Very simple: What’s flowing from your life presently? What comes easy to you? What’s working out supernaturally for you?

Isaac dug a well in order to water his flock. But the inhabitants of the land challenged his right to be there. So he called that well ‘Esech’ or ‘Contention’, moved down the road, dug another well, and struck water once more. A second time, the inhabitants came out and said, ‘This is our territory. Get out of here.’ So Jacob named the well ‘Sitna’, or ‘Hatred’, and went down the road a little further. He dug a third well, and this time no one bothered him — so he called the name of this well ‘Rehoboth’ or ‘There’s room for me’ (Genesis 26).

I have found life basically follows such a pattern: You dig and strike some water. There’s some refreshment and good things happen — but it becomes strife or hatred. So you go down the road and dig a second time, and again there are problems. Eventually, however, if you don’t give up, you’ll find your Reheboth.

Isaac had the job of watering sheep. He didn’t agonize over it. He didn’t complain about it. He just tended to what was at hand — and he ended up at Rehoboth. That’s the key. Do what’s before you. Say, ‘Lord, here I am. You’ve allowed me to do this and I’m going to do it as unto You. And if there’s strife or hatred, I’ll just move down the road and dig again until I find Reheboth.’

God has a Reheboth for every one of us. Don’t give up on seeking yours.

This Daily Devotional is an excerpt from the book "A Day's Journey" by Pastor Jon. "A Day's Journey" is a collection of 365 short meditations mined from the riches of the New Testament.

2 more weeks

After a few beautiful days of warm weather, the fog has returned to cool us down. Yesterday after a nice evening walk to the Conservatory of Flowers we stopped in the local tattoo parlor around the corner. I would like to get another one but I don't know exactly what yet. It's all about design and location. Anyway, I pass by their sign all the time and we finally checked it out, it's pretty nice and terribly convenient. We'll see. A new tattoo would be a bit of a luxury for someone who will not have steady work in a couple of weeks.

Today was especially challenging being at work. We have another big invitation mailing for the next event and I wasn't in the mood to stuff envelopes, sigh. Also, I was in the hallway sitting on the floor talking to Uney on my cell phone (everyone takes cell phone calls in the hall) and wouldn't you know it, my boss walks by, sees me and doesn't say anything, oy vey, so I walked to the elevator and went downstairs to finish my call. Well, what's she gonna do really? Fire me sooner than my quit date? Hello. So I'm trying to finish one last project from my other boss, do my regular duties, try and respond to requests from my Ad Reps nicely, clean out my desk & computer a little each day, and TCB when I can with 10 days left which feels like 10 months.
Next I have two appointments with Temp agencies lined up.

This is George's big weekend. He will be a guest filmmaker at the Toronto International Jewish Film Festival. If you're going to be in Canada (Ontario Province) this weekend, check out the debut screening!

p.s. check out Summer's May 8 blog entry - she created a really cool little zine.
http://www.summerpierre.com/blog.html

Amazing Race

The race ended practically across the street from us! I had no idea it would end in San Francisco and specifically at the entrance gate of the Botanical Garden in Golden Gate Park! George and I couldn't figure out how we didn't know about that since we are there all the time. It would have been neat to see all of them including Phil. Oh well.

Weekend

Beautiful weather in the Bay Area this weekend! We walked to the beach & back on Saturday and enjoyed a picnic in the park this afternoon complete with white sangria made by yours truly!
I enjoyed watching "The Pursuit of Happyness" last night. I love when movies are shot in San Francisco, but it was quite a story! He overcame such extreme hardships. Cecil from Glide is in the film, and we recognized a cameo in the beginning of the man who wears a white suit and top hat at the corner of Powell and Post street and sings that song "...the whole world smiles with you..." all the time. I also remember seeing the pseudo muni/bart station at Duboce Park on my commute for a few weeks! It looked so real and it's the part in the movie where Will Smith runs on a flat lawn through a little park into the station. Now it's just back to being dog park.

This is an exciting week for George. His latest film which is so incredibly unique and innovative, "The Diary of Niclas Gheiler" is screening at the Toronto International Jewish Film Festival and he will be attending Thursday - Saturday. May this be the beginning of greater success for my sweetheart, xoxo.

I will continue to TCB (take care of business), fun things like a dental cleaning, temp agency applications and another call about health insurance, and research for our Tahoe trip.

13 more days

Trying to plan and take care of as much as I can this month. Insurance is a bummer to say the least. Just found out Blueshield is discontinuing new enrollments for their short-term coverage plans after June 30. So I mosey over to Blue Cross and they have something similar (6 mos. coverage for nearly $500 with a high deductible so I really won't use it - just pay to have it). It's hurting my head but I need to wrap that up next week.

Some fears paralyzed me last night about money. I started to worry about how I'd manage without a steady income and adjusting to earning less. Who knows but somewhere in my psyche I believe that when I get on the authentic path and find good work I will enjoy doing, I will be able to earn a nice living. I've read enough stories to know that provision moves in. I've recently decided that the best way to earn a better wage and keep a flexible schedule would be to temp for awhile. It's a great way to see all sorts of other businesses and companies with less commitment while I continue to explore and soul-search. I'd like to attempt freelance writing at some point too. I learned of an interesting new book by Ariel Gore called "How to become a famous writer before you're dead."

I'm just not comfortable not working at all because hey, let's face it, San Francisco isn't a cheap place to live. However, I look forward to getting creative and adding to our low-and-no budget things we can do. We're already pretty good at that.

Jetset to PDX

Had a great trip to Portland! Such fun wandering the rooms of books galore and all sorts of gift items and journals at the one-and-only Powells! A weekend of good company, good conversations, good food and wine.

Great to visit w/Shelley & Chris after all these years.
Great to meet Spencer, the most handsome bird ever.

Beginning Transition List

In the works:
1. Notice has been given.
2. A new to-do list with completion-target-dates has been created.
3. Health insurance is being researched.
4. A new budget is in the works.
5. Coaching w/Cynthia.

To do:
1. Spring cleaning & purge
2. Order new glasses
3. Mother's day card
4. Apply for interesting part-time jobs
5. Network
6. Document my story - write write write

To enjoy:
1. Time with George
2. Anne Lamott's new book "Grace Eventually"
3. DVD's to rent: Pursuit of Happyness, Freedom Writers, Bobby, The Queen
4. Staying in touch with good friends
5. More exercise
6. New ideas and opportunities to discover daily

A new path

The time has come.
I'm leaving my j-o-b.

Looking for new things to try and a more authentic path
Excited to see where it leads
Very little plans and preparations this time
Open to possibilities
There is a better way
and I will find it.

23 more days at my j-o-b
and hopefully a little trip to Tahoe will follow.

Time to exercise my faith
Pay attention to everything
talk to people, try new things
and write my own story.

Breath of fresh air

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. - Anais Nin

time for a change

Change is in the air.
I've decided it's time to make a big break from the corporate office world and explore other ways and means of living and finding new sources of income. I've got to a point where I can't fake it for one more minute. Even though I work for a good company and it is a nice place to work, I'm far too unhappy in my position to justify staying.

Sometimes you just get to the point where you must leap and then the net will appear, I hope!

a cup of spring

Easter Sunday

Happy Easter

God bless you

Questions that need new answers

Why is Armando Benitez still the closer for the Giants?

(It's great to see Rich Aurelia back though!)

Why do we stay in work situations that do not enhance our well-being?

(Dependent on Income & Benefits)

How much potential could I unleash if I left my uncomfortable comfort zone?

(who knows?)

George and I had a conversation about each day being brand-spanking new and the unlimited possibility each morning holds.

Keeping positive and productive

trying to keep noise, distractions, or unwelcome thoughts from tainting it.

Paying attention

not to miss the messages or miracles directed your way.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday my dear Uney!
Looking forward to our visit
Please confirm my reservation at the Tuscan villa...

Lent / Easter Poem

The dark days of Lent
Have pierced my soul
With an undeniable urge for more
More living of life
To break out
Present
Aware
To risk
Living my life, MORE

Going through daily motions
Alive
Washing my face awake
Tasting my oatmeal
Writing words from the heart
And imagination
Making active
Life-giving choices

The risen Christ
Has made the way
For our redemption
And empowers us
With the Holy Spirit
Will we walk with Him
In that power
Will we walk with Him
In such sacrificial love
Redeeming the time
Using our gifts
Drawing near to the Lord
Will we rise up
Take risks
Help others
Be all we can