Muni or Third World Country?

These fish can get around faster than we can in SF some days! I took Muni downtown to run one errand. On the way there, my train stopped at Church Street and made us all exit the train
because there was a problem, and we got on the train behind us. Not a big deal. When I tried to go home about 2:30, I caught my train at Embarcadero and made it all the way to Van Ness (4 stops). Then THIS train had a problem and went out of service!! This delay was about 30 minutes. Fortunately, I didn't have anywhere to be.
George has had some really bad delay experiences on Muni and has compared it to public transit in third world countries. I have not been to a third world country yet but when I do, I will already be familiar with unreliable transportation. Oy Gavalt.

books & stuff

Finished both these enjoyable books over the weekend. I love Anne Lamott's honest and humorous essays. I never tire reading her words about faith, being a Christian, her single-parent stories raising her son, her family, friends, death, grief, and politics. 'Summer at Tiffany' by Marjorie Hart was a delightful story and interesting to learn more about New York in the 40's, during the time of WW2. I was a little surprised the decision she made at the end of that summer that took her life on a different course. How our choices take our lives in varying directions is fascinating to me. That's why I feel it is really important the kind of choices I make for work at this time. I want to take a different road and who knows what chain of events that will unravel.

On a different note, I have been THINKING about writing and not actually WRITING lately, again! Gosh, why do I do this? I am home with George and he had a creative weekend, coming up with new art pieces, and he can go with it for hours. I suppose I did the next best thing I could do to writing though, reading.

Last night I watched The Goodbye Girl on PBS (from 1977). Richard Dreyfus, Marsha Mason, and Quinn Cummings were great. This made me wonder "what ever happened to" Quinn Cummings? Turns out she left show biz, lives in LA with her boyfriend and they have a 6-year-old daughter, she invented the Hiphugger Baby Sling, and writes a blog. She's only a year younger than I am.

Cecil

http://slbeat.mytimesdispatch.com

Check out Cecil Hirvi - a guest on this blog from the Richmond, VA Times.
Not only is he intelligent and talented, he's sort of cute for a Borg!

Amused

Today my horoscope says: You're an easy laugh, and life keeps giving you hilarious scenarios. Writing about an interesting turn of events will help you expand creatively, mentally and, ultimately, financially.

I find this amusing, as yesterday I received a call from the former job again (I even said before I left last week, please don't call me for at least a month). Here's the amusing part, they asked if I would be able to work for 2 days of reception coverage!! I tell everyone I speak with regarding work, reception is not an option. I politely declined. Seriously, the only work I've been offered since I quit has been from my past 2 employers. Flattering yes, moving me anywhere forward, no. My intention is to decline these offers disguised as opportunities, in order to raise the bar, make room for new and improved career opportunities. So here I am writing about this as suggested!

Unfortunately the weather is foggy and cool again. Hard to motivate and luckily I don't have to do much this week anyway. I slept in till about 8am today, had a bowl of cereal, and coffee (thanks George), sorted through & deleted emails, a little blog reading and a quick glance over Craigslist jobs. Now it's 11am and I think I'll get ready for the gym soon. I am going to get back to my career workbook "Life's a bitch and then You Change Careers - 9 steps to get out of your funk & on to your future". Also, time to get busy on my writing for class, this week the assignment is about teaching a lesson (skill set, not big life lessons) and attaching a secret. I have no idea where to begin with this one, a lesson you are teaching and a secret you are holding. ??

I'm half way through my summer read, "Summer at Tiffany". It's an enjoyable memoir.

What a difference a day makes!

The authorities were contacted, traps were set, 3 feral kittens were trapped and transported! Now they will head to the SPCA for some care and get fixed. What an exceptionally quiet night we had.

I rented a pretty good French movie over the weekend, "Avenue Montaigne". Still want to see Paris Je T'aime too. No work lined up this week, yet. Just heard that Simone & Ocean are planning to visit the U.S. later this year :)

Will try and do some writing today and post something a little more insightful or interesting later. Ciao for now.

cat-a-pult

We have a big problem with feral cats here. The problem is they cross through our backyard daily via climbing over fences on each side. Every so often a new litter appears and the babies are can't make it over the fence alone. Therefore, they make all sorts of noise until they get back over the fence to the neighbors yard (that we're pretty sure feeds them!) This racket usually takes place anytime between 10pm and 6 am.

The hose and barriers only work temporarily. It's time for the authorities to come get them. We found a program with volunteers who rescue cats such as these! We will be calling until all the cats are trapped and escorted out. We've started using earplugs again. Forgive me, but I can't stand cats in the first place.

food for thought

"I find television

very educational.

Every time someone

switches it on,

I go into another room

and read a good book."

~ Groucho Marx

July 19

Park in Toronto

Today I gave Joan her job back. She was pleased with the job I did covering for her and I was pleased to be finished. Summer weather reappeared yesterday afternoon, and I was able to enjoy lunch in the park today w/G.

I picked up a new book for a summer read, "Summer at Tiffany". It takes place in the 1940's in New York and seems like a fun memoir.

Ironically, I received a call yesterday from another former employer for an offer to come back and cover my old position during a maternity leave. Can't do it, it will keep me from moving forward. Glad to have a little break again and hopeful to find new and improved opportunities in the near future.

Now a few words to some friends around the globe: (my little messags in a bottle)

Hi Martina, hope you enjoy your visit to Brazil!

Hi Anthony in Germany, great to be in touch again, keep writing!

Hi Simone & Ocean in New Zealand, miss you, hope to hear from you soon!

Hi Cathy in the OC, rock on with your own bad self!

Hi Adam, and David B. in the midwest, how's summer treating you?

Hi Sister C in So Cal., have you written any new beautiful poems lately?

Hi Cecily, how's life in Hong Kong?

Quote

"Every day look at a beautiful picture,

read a beautiful poem,

listen to some beautiful music,

and if possible, say some reasonable thing."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

monday monday

This is my last week filling in at my former job. Then it's back to my career-change re-evaluation break. (I keep changing the title) I really hope I can find various sources of work and income. Variety is appealing.
I'm even looking to find a little gig that is internet based (perhaps some sort of website content writing...or who knows) in order to have a portable job that can be done from anywhere in the world. G has worked that way for years.

Newsflash: Two coyotes were spotted in Golden Gate Park this past weekend!

Sicko

Today was a typical San Francisco summer day. We bundled up and decided to head out to a matinee. We saw Michael Moore's latest, "Sicko" at a bargain matinee of $8.50 per person. Worth every cent. We thought it was very well done. He addressed health care in America, or lack thereof. I had a big lump in my throat at various parts in the film. The stories of regular American folks were heartbreaking. There were serious medical situations that didn't receive the care necessary at the time, just plain inexcusable. This system is terribly flawed. Personally I have some 'emergency' coverage at this time that I can't really afford to use due to high deductibles and now I'm not certain I would be provided coverage if necessary. What a sad state for a lot of us, and scary!

He did show what was right with health care in other countries. People he interviewed weren't the least bit concerned about 1) being covered (because they have universal health care), 2) weren't the least bit concerned about paying (because they never or very minimally had to).

I think I'd seriously like to live abroad for a time. Not just because of that mind you, George and I have always wanted to travel as much as we can. But I think it relieves a fair amount of worries in countries where you know that your health care is available for you (free), and education is provided for as well. Sheesh. I think this country runs ass-backwards sometimes. We don't care for our people, we make college unaffordable (like I could never afford to go back now!), we prescribe drugs for every newly invented condition (hailing the almighty dollar), enough said. Well, that's why I vote even though it feels like it doesn't make a difference, someday it will. That's why I see films that are bold enough to address important and relevant issues. I'm tired of being lied to by our government, and it just makes you think. It doesn't take many people to create such large-scale problems (the health care decline began during Nixon's administration), but it will certainly take more than a few to repair these broken systems. Lord, help us.

Anyway... I recommend watching "Sicko". It's another well-done documentary. Unless you do not like Michael Moore's work of course. I happen to have respect for him. Who else is doing anything to get these stories heard on a grand scale?

Book Report

I first read “Let Your Life Speak, Listening for the Voice of Vocation” by Parker Palmer, about three years ago. Palmer is a writer, teacher and activist. I’m re-reading it now to glean insight about finding an authentic career direction.

Parker Palmer began to question his vocation in his 30’s. At 40 now, I am at a crossroads having recently quit my full-time job. Soul-draining jobs have taken their toll on me. Though I’ve worked for some great companies over the years, I’ve learned that I need more than a regular 8-5 job in the same position with little stimulation. So I call this my time of a self-imposed sabbatical.

He says vocation comes from listening to our own life. “…the word vocation itself is rooted in the Latin for voice.”
“We listen for guidance everywhere except from within.” True for me! It’s hard to get quiet and still enough to hear your own truth. It’s also a challenge to be patient. I will distract myself by reading anything from books to blogs, yet that is other people’s experience and wisdom. Maybe I will try and put the books down for a while. Try to get in touch with guidance through prayer, meditation, and writing.

“If we can learn to read our own responses to our own experience-a text we are writing unconsciously every day we spend on earth-we will receive the guidance we need to live more authentic lives.” He also notes, “My life is not only about my strengths and virtues; it is also about my liabilities and my limits, my trespasses and my shadow.”
Andrea, pay attention! Awaken to your responses and to all your senses, awaken to new discoveries and use it all in your own writing.

“Vocation does not come from a voice ‘out there’ calling me to become something I am not. It comes from a voice ‘in here’ calling me to be the person I was born to be, to fulfill the original selfhood given me at birth by God.”

He speaks of coming to terms with our own limitations and fears. When doors close, pay attention to that for guidance as well. In his 40’s, Palmer experienced clinical depression. He shares his faithful reflection of what happened once he passed through the valley of depression. “At the end of that decent into darkness and isolation, I found myself reengaged with community, better able to offer leadership to the causes I care about.”

This time around, it is a little more insightful and I’m encouraged to seek my answers within, where they lay dormant. I do believe they are there and it’s time to stop looking outside, everywhere else.

The journey often requires some paths through darkness. As long as I keep moving forward, taking the next best step at the moment, I will undoubtedly arrive at a now elusive, somewhere authentic.

Wednesday Musings

This afternoon we took a walk and it was BEAUTIFUL out. We saw lots of butterflies, squirrels, birds and ducks. In fact, I got shat on by something! It has been said to be good luck in some places.

This evening we rented "Why We Fight". Interesting documentary. Nothing we didn't already know but I did learn more about the 'business of war'. I learned the term 'Military-Industrial-Complex' (MIC) first spoken by Eisenhower. Defense is big business. Sadly, I believe the Empire America is to suffer the same fate of prior empires. YET, that doesn't mean it's time to get complacent and negative.

We can decide:
who and what we support
where we choose to spend our money
where we travel
to do good deeds and help others
to volunteer or serve in our local communities
to pick up a piece of trash
to drive less (if possible)
to think deeply and form our own conclusions
to challenge status quo
to re-evaluate our own beliefs and be sure if they still hold true

for a start! Each day is new and we have the priviledge to choose how we spend it. There is a good quote that says something like... "life is meant to be spent, not saved." So spend the day as wisely or whimsically as you want. I hope to do a little of both, mindfully.

reminder for the mind

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

Tuesday

Overcast & cool, summer in SF. Today is the All-Star Game.
I don't feel like going to work even though I only have seven days left there. I'm burned out and ready to get back on my self-imposed retirement break.

Nevertheless, I do have to get dressed and have some cereal. More later.
(my feet)



"Part of being an artist is being brave, and that means creating the kind of life you want for yourself." -Jan D'Esopo

Treats

Yesterday George and I saw a classic Charlie Chaplin film, "City Lights" at the Castro theater. It was so sweet, poetic and funny. I loved it. I can see why many comedians were influenced by him.

Today at church I found out that my friend Jen was accepted in Medical School and is leaving soon to be a med student in So Cal. Congratulation Jennifer, continue to follow your heart.

Later I had the pleasure of catching up with a good friend! Thanks for calling Cathy!! You still crack me up. It was great to share about our common issues! Have fun camping. Definitely talk to you soon. xoxo

my new poem

(Fragrant Cloud - 1st prize winner)

Ok, so I decided not to wait.
Here is my brand new creating as of this morning!

7/4/07

Sunrays reveal the path

And I follow

Each step toward authenticity

My seasons of mere existence

Are pardoned in the warm breeze

Sweeping away the dross

No longer can I hide behind the shadows of, “I don’t know”

The tree branches sway

Naturally

And my choices become more authentic

Naturally

I feel the sun warming my back

And my heart feels aglow

With hope

There is poetry in this manicured garden

The sun casts images on the still pond like

An Impressionist painting

The layers of the red pagoda speak to me

Of five imaginary lives

A faint wind chime rings sacred

Awakening truth and possibility

I go forward into the full array of poetry

That is each new day

Of

My

Life.

Back on Independence Day

An unexpected blog break.
The time since my last post has included:
Red paper lanterns in China Town
Fortune cookies
A walk to Ocean Beach
A neighborhood clean up where we helped paint over graffiti on poles and trash cans
A letter written to a special pen-pal
Prize winning roses
Breakfast at Howard's
Fireworks that sound like bombs after midnight


Happy Independence Day - however you choose to identify with it.
I choose to hope that competent people will once again run this country,
to claim my independence and pursue authentic 'life-giving' work, and remember my dependence on God who I trust.
And mostly I'm happy to spend the entire day with my love, George.

p.s. I wrote a new poem this morning in the Japanese Tea Garden - may post it later.

p.s.s. - I'd like to give a little shout out to some special friends in Minnesota, Happy 4th of July to David & Marilyn Bengtson, hope we get to see you this year.