Apparently, I can be bought

After a 2nd interview for an administrator position yesterday I wasn't sure it would be the right fit. Same day I got another call from a former boss making me an offer I couldn't refuse! I had insomnia last night and sleep was no longer an option for me by 5am, sorry George.

So, I decided to accept a 3-month position working for 4 days a week at a former job. I have some co-workers I like that still work there too. I think it's the right thing for now that is short-term. I will use that time to network for international contacts, and find something new to learn in order to try another kind of work down the road by taking courses or a certification of some sort. That is the new plan of the hour.

Actively waiting

Being active helps a lot in this process. For example, going to work out in the morning is a good start. Having some people to call, or places to go, or even errands to run keeps you moving. I have three people working for me now, if you will. I like that they are looking for interesting jobs for me. It's just a matter of getting something lined up. I use the term "actively waiting" in times like these. Not just job-related, but whenever you are waiting for something to materialize in your life. It requires waiting but you can certainly do your part too.

I'm reading some good stories in Po Bronson's book "What should I do with my life?". There are some interesting stories. I found this insight on page 322. This is Po speaking, "In the nine hundred plus stories I heard in my research, almost nobody was struck with an epiphany. It was one of my biggest surprises. Most people had a slim notion or a slight urge that they slowly nurtured until it grew into a faint hope which barely stayed alive for years until it could mature into a vision. ... Don't doubt your desire because it comes to you as a whisper; don't think, "If it were really important to me, I'd feel clearer about this, less conflicted." My research didn't show that to be true. The things we really want to do are usually the ones that scare us the most."

So it's Friday. It doesn't carry the weight right now since every day has been my weekend this week!

(haiku on the spot):
soft petals sitting
delight in the sweet perfume
quietly lovely

Free at Last, Free at Last ...

(picture from Viansa winery)

I thank God I'm free at last ...

Today is the first day of the rest of your life -

My first day of freedom
Woke up too early but that's okay
We had breakfast at Art's, what a treat - no crowd
Sara who works there, commented that I looked happy
I didn't realize it shows?! Apparently quitting your job can do wonders to your countenance

The sun is beginning to emerge
I have errands to run today, mostly downtown
time to get moving on the adventure of today.
Carpe Diem!!

Crossing a bridge

Tomorrow is my LAST day at the job. I'm definitely READY but it doesn't feel REAL yet. Then I cross the bridge into freedom and uncertainty. A time of exploring all sorts of options. Conveniently we are having some nice weather I plan to take advantage of! I'm entertaining the idea of creating a few different sources of income, from part-time work to temping to personal training! Who knows. I just like the idea of flexibility, variety, and unconventional hours. It doesn't feel that scary, it feels right. What would you try if you quit your job?

Today at Farmer's Market I got some Sweet Pea bouquets.
Andrea - out.

4 more days

It's starting to feel a little closer to the end but 4 days still feels like 4 months. It's coming though. I have 3 agencies to finish signing up with to temp and a meeting with a career specialist. The funny thing is that I fear finding work too soon! I want to keep a flexible schedule for a couple months and temp here and there for exposure and scrilla, but nothing long-term or permanent... yet.

This is what I know for sure:
1. This is absolutely the right decision and timing.
2. I want to go to the Japanese Tea Garden Friday at 9am.
3. I will write more and work on a piece for submission.
4. I want to go to the gym at different times of day - not only at 6pm.
5. Possibilities are endless
6. This truly is the beginning of my authentic path.
(You say tomato..... it's still funny)

2 more weeks

After a few beautiful days of warm weather, the fog has returned to cool us down. Yesterday after a nice evening walk to the Conservatory of Flowers we stopped in the local tattoo parlor around the corner. I would like to get another one but I don't know exactly what yet. It's all about design and location. Anyway, I pass by their sign all the time and we finally checked it out, it's pretty nice and terribly convenient. We'll see. A new tattoo would be a bit of a luxury for someone who will not have steady work in a couple of weeks.

Today was especially challenging being at work. We have another big invitation mailing for the next event and I wasn't in the mood to stuff envelopes, sigh. Also, I was in the hallway sitting on the floor talking to Uney on my cell phone (everyone takes cell phone calls in the hall) and wouldn't you know it, my boss walks by, sees me and doesn't say anything, oy vey, so I walked to the elevator and went downstairs to finish my call. Well, what's she gonna do really? Fire me sooner than my quit date? Hello. So I'm trying to finish one last project from my other boss, do my regular duties, try and respond to requests from my Ad Reps nicely, clean out my desk & computer a little each day, and TCB when I can with 10 days left which feels like 10 months.
Next I have two appointments with Temp agencies lined up.

This is George's big weekend. He will be a guest filmmaker at the Toronto International Jewish Film Festival. If you're going to be in Canada (Ontario Province) this weekend, check out the debut screening!

p.s. check out Summer's May 8 blog entry - she created a really cool little zine.
http://www.summerpierre.com/blog.html

13 more days

Trying to plan and take care of as much as I can this month. Insurance is a bummer to say the least. Just found out Blueshield is discontinuing new enrollments for their short-term coverage plans after June 30. So I mosey over to Blue Cross and they have something similar (6 mos. coverage for nearly $500 with a high deductible so I really won't use it - just pay to have it). It's hurting my head but I need to wrap that up next week.

Some fears paralyzed me last night about money. I started to worry about how I'd manage without a steady income and adjusting to earning less. Who knows but somewhere in my psyche I believe that when I get on the authentic path and find good work I will enjoy doing, I will be able to earn a nice living. I've read enough stories to know that provision moves in. I've recently decided that the best way to earn a better wage and keep a flexible schedule would be to temp for awhile. It's a great way to see all sorts of other businesses and companies with less commitment while I continue to explore and soul-search. I'd like to attempt freelance writing at some point too. I learned of an interesting new book by Ariel Gore called "How to become a famous writer before you're dead."

I'm just not comfortable not working at all because hey, let's face it, San Francisco isn't a cheap place to live. However, I look forward to getting creative and adding to our low-and-no budget things we can do. We're already pretty good at that.

Beginning Transition List

In the works:
1. Notice has been given.
2. A new to-do list with completion-target-dates has been created.
3. Health insurance is being researched.
4. A new budget is in the works.
5. Coaching w/Cynthia.

To do:
1. Spring cleaning & purge
2. Order new glasses
3. Mother's day card
4. Apply for interesting part-time jobs
5. Network
6. Document my story - write write write

To enjoy:
1. Time with George
2. Anne Lamott's new book "Grace Eventually"
3. DVD's to rent: Pursuit of Happyness, Freedom Writers, Bobby, The Queen
4. Staying in touch with good friends
5. More exercise
6. New ideas and opportunities to discover daily

A new path

The time has come.
I'm leaving my j-o-b.

Looking for new things to try and a more authentic path
Excited to see where it leads
Very little plans and preparations this time
Open to possibilities
There is a better way
and I will find it.

23 more days at my j-o-b
and hopefully a little trip to Tahoe will follow.

Time to exercise my faith
Pay attention to everything
talk to people, try new things
and write my own story.

Breath of fresh air

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. - Anais Nin

time for a change

Change is in the air.
I've decided it's time to make a big break from the corporate office world and explore other ways and means of living and finding new sources of income. I've got to a point where I can't fake it for one more minute. Even though I work for a good company and it is a nice place to work, I'm far too unhappy in my position to justify staying.

Sometimes you just get to the point where you must leap and then the net will appear, I hope!